Bootstrappin’ It

My mother in law (the best MIL on the planet) got me a pair of riding boots for Christmas. They are totally awesome.  They are the most kick- . . .awesome boots I have ever seen or worn.  When I put them on my feet, I suddenly become wildly powerful and amazing. I feel confident, cowgirlish, and fierce. I want to wear them everywhere. Secretly, I am looking for a place that has saloon doors that might need to be kicked in.  I wish I were still teaching high school students, so I could face down a cocky teen while my feet are swathed in the magical “boots of power”.  I dare, I just dare you to question my interpretation of Robert Frost.

(Speaking of whom, is anyone else bothered by the Jeep commercial that rips off Frost’s poem without making reference to him AND badly misconstrues the meaning of the poem? I know I am. But, I digress.)

In the boots, I feel invincible, unconquerable, unstoppable.  In the boots, I feel that there is very little that I cannot do.  When I wear the boots at the grocery store, I feel more able to make solid decisions. At church, the boots make me feel sturdy and well grounded.  At home, they help me feel ready to kick, should the need arise.

I love the boots.

But I have to tell you, by the end of today, a day in which I wore the boots for almost 12 straight hours, I began to feel a little weary of them. My feet were feeling a little sore. And I began to think, just maybe, that I was looking forward to taking the gall-darn things off.

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January always starts out with lots of confident proclamations about who we’ll be, what we’ll change, what we’ll eat, how we’ll shrink our waists, our debt, our carbon imprint.  We feel inspired, motivated, eager, and ready to kick down the doors of the old life and make new ourselves, our diets, our bank accounts, our friendships, our habits, our spiritual lives, our hobbies.

A few days into the New Year a girlfriend of mine and I were talking about getting an area of our lives “back on track.”  We both promised to “do better.” Then I jokingly remarked, “Is this just January talkin’?”

Because when it comes right down to it, a lot of this January talk is a lot like my boots.  It sounds good. It feels good. It IS good, awesome even.  But after a while, the burden of making ourselves different is really overwhelming.

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Last weekend, my pastor used a phrase that I don’t know if I’ve ever heard before. Maybe he coined the phrase himself.  I don’t know.  He said that a lot of the efforts that we make in our lives to be better, do better, or change for the better are just us “bootstrappin’ it,” as in “just pull up your bootstraps” and get after it!  Americans, I think, are especially guilty of believing that if we just put our minds to it, work hard enough, put on our “big girl panties,” and pull up our “bootstraps,” we can do anything.  We’re just “bootstrappin’ it” and believing that if we can just do it right, this January, this year, this go around, things are really going to be different.

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Dear Katrina,

I just want to say, “Thanks for nothin’.  I was highly motivated to change my life until I read your blog post, “Bootstrappin’ It” and realized that all is for naught. Now that I see that nothing will ever change, I am going to abandon my real food goals. In fact, I think I will help Hostess get out of bankruptcy by buying tons of Twinkies. Moreover, I now despair of all my life changes. Are you really sure blogging is for you? You seem to have lost your touch on the whole inspiration-thing.

You stink,

Reader

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Okay, so I am not trying to demoralize you, convince you that you will fail at your goals, or depress your efforts.   I have some goals myself.  Tomorrow, I myself am undertaking a new goal to get up early to exercise and spend time reading my Bible (with Hello Mornings).  However, I didn’t make any New Year’s Resolutions this year per se. (Although really and truly, I have GOT to go to the dentist this year, so don’t let me forget.)

What it comes down to is this. My boots and January are just a false confidence on the same old me.  What I need to get is REAL transforming change from a real power. I don’t have the power to change myself. Only God, who has the power to raise the dead, can change me. No amount of trying, hoping, resolving, and bootstrappin’ it will work.  I know that after even one full day of bootstrappin’ in, I just want to take off my boots.

Therefore, this year, I’m swearing off “bootstrappin’ it.”  I’m just tired of it. If I really SAY that I believe in God’s power to change, then I need to be willing to let Him change me. Anyone with me?

 ^1-2So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. ³I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

I’m linking up at The Better Mom today!